Family Affair

My sister-in-law, we'll call her Molly, is here in Israel for an intensive 2 week seminar. Her days (and many evenings) are packed with lectures and meetings, and unfortunately it doesn't leave a lot of time for non-seminar touring and certainly doesn't leave a lot of time to visit family.

The last time we saw Molly in person was the summer of 2012, when Zach, the boys, and I flew to the States for a family visit. Nati was 5, Elchanan was 3. Neither were toilet trained... oh, that was fun. So the last time Molly saw my boys, they were barely out of toddlerhood. And it had been even longer since Molly saw my daughters, and she'd never met my son-in-law or my grandsons.

Needless to say, I wanted to arrange a family get together, despite Molly's tight schedule.

My original idea was everyone come to Jerusalem, where Molly was based, and we'd go to a restaurant. But then I started picturing the get together.

First of all, it would mean that my daughter and her family would have to travel by bus, minimum of 90 minutes, just to get to Jerusalem, and then depending on where the restaurant was, would have to get there as well.

Five minutes after arriving, Nati would start complaining that he wants to go home.

Ten minutes after that, Elchanan would start complaining that he's bored. And when he gets bored, he starts picking on... well, everyone.

We'd have to make sure that my grandsons (ages 6 and 3) would sit at the table for the meal, and the schmoozing.

Yeah, none of that seemed appealing.

But then I realized that this get together wasn't going to be about the food, it was about the family. The people, gathering together for the company and the conversation, reconnecting.

So then I suggested having a BBQ at my daughter's house. We'd pick up Molly in Jerusalem and then drive further north to where my daughter lives. By car, it's about 45 minutes. I made cole slaw, potato salad, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, brought burger and hot dog buns, and bag of chicken wings marinading in a home made sauce. I told my daughter to buy the burgers and hot dogs, and I'd reimburse her. The reason behind that was so those items would be cooked and ready (especially for the kids) when we got there. See, sometimes I have a good idea.

And it was amazing. The kids all got to eat and run, play as they wished, where they wished. The grown ups got to have pleasant conversation. And as a bonus, Molly got to see a part of the country that she'd otherwise not have had an opportunity to visit. And we took a 5 minute pause to do some amazing star gazing in mostly dark skies.

What kind of family get together have you been to that ended up being fantastic and amazing, despite being nothing like what you first planned it to be?

Stress and the toll it takes on you

There's a saying from Psalms, "to go from strength to strength".

I, however, live my life going from stress to stress. I don't know why. But it's how I am. And lately, it's been a shitstorm of stress.

My summer plans to go to the US with the boys have been cancelled because 6 weeks after starting a new job (after being out of work for almost 3 months), my husband's company laid him off so they could have the out-of-work brother of one of the company founders basically work illegally. That was over 2 months ago.

We're moving to a smaller apartment on Sunday, the reasons for that being the apartment we're in is really too big for us (when we first moved in, my adult daughter was living with us, she's no longer doing that), the owners refuse to replace the air conditioning so it actually works (having spent 2 summers in Beersheva heat, I can't do that any more). There are a few financial reasons for moving, but frankly, the no air conditioning in 105 F degree weather is a HUGE motivator. Especially when you work from home as I do. And no, we can't simply buy new ones ourselves; it's central air conditioning and the way it was set up is just not good.

So we're moving. And hubby has been out of work for over 2 months. And the vacation that was keeping me sane was cancelled.

So I've been a bit stressed.

The thing about stress is, you don't often realize just how much you've been drowning in stress until the/a stressor has been relieved.

My husband has had several interviews with different companies, literally all over the world. And it looks like a local company is offering him a job. When he called me to let me know, I couldn't make it through the phone call without tears. I barely hung up with him before the ugly crying started. Sobbing, tears streaming down my face.No snot, because as usual my sinuses are stuffed. But I'm sure that would have been dripping too.

Okay, deep breath, find a tissue, and get back to packing.

So, do you go from stress to stress, or are you water off a duck's back kinda personality?