Changing Perspective, One Smile at a Time

Years ago in high school, I had a teacher who taught a variety of subjects throughout the years. I didn't particularly like her, and it certainly wasn't helped by the fact that none of the subjects she taught held any interest for me. Oooh, shocker! Student doesn't like teacher! Oooh, bigger shocker! Student doesn't like subjects being taught!

But there's one thing she said once - and since it was a million years ago, I don't remember if this was what the lesson was about, or just something she said in passing - that really stuck with me, and I've tried really hard to carry it on throughout my life.

It doesn't cost anything to smile.

Nothing profound, nothing earth-shattering. But the words resonated with me for some reason.

Since I can't remember the context, I imagine when she talked about cost, she meant actual financial cost. No comments about braces or plastic surgery, please.

I've taken it to also mean emotional and mental. Once upon a time I would have also said physical, but for years I've suffered from "Dear God, kill me know" sinus pressure headaches, where it hurts to think, so I've removed that from my equation. And I understand being in a mental or emotional place, where smiling seems impossible, but having been there, done that, I firmly believe in faking it till you make it.

Throughout the years, I've tried very hard to instill this tenet into my children. I know I've succeeded with my daughters, as I have been told time and again from neighbors and strangers-to-me (in other words, people who know my daughters) what polite, kind, and thoughtful girls I have. My boys are significantly younger and are a work in progress, but I definitely work on it with them as well.

There's a Russian woman who lives in the house next to Nati's van stop. Often, when we wait, she's outside, mopping her porch. I started saying good morning to her as we arrive, and she'd reply in kind. After about a week, if I was too slow with my greeting, she'd say good morning to me first.

There's an elderly couple in our building, and Nati and I often see them as we head to his stop in the morning. I started saying good morning to them as we passed them. Now, as soon as the woman sees us coming out onto the street, she'll wish us a good morning.

Thanking the bus driver when he opens the door. Telling the cashier to have a good day. Saying hello to the driver when you get into the taxi. Little things to you, but they can mean so much to the person receiving.

Unfortunately, politeness is seen almost as a bad trait here in Israel. I joke and say that the national sport is yelling, but frankly, it's not far from the truth. I think the worst insult you can give an Israeli is to tell him he's a "frier", a sucker. And for some reason, politeness seems to be equated with being a frier.

So it's going to be an uphill battle, doing things one smile at a time.

What profound bit of unintentional wisdom have you carried through from high school?

Sarcasm, Just Another Service We Provide

My husband likes to tell a story of how when he was a kid, and the family would go on trips, his mom would line the dashboard with twenty single dollar bills. If she had to tell my husband and/or his sister to behave, she'd remove a dollar. My husband and his sister would then split whatever was left when they got to their destination.

This afternoon, we took the boys to the beach in Ashkelon. The drive is a bit under an hour, depending on the driving conditions. We spent a bit over an hour at the beach, and it was wonderful. The water was as warm as a bath, but the waves made things feel more like a washing machine.

On the drive home, the boys were bothering each other more than usual. After telling them to leave each other alone for about the tenth time, and this only being 15 minutes into our drive home, I told them we were going to have a contest.

Not a quiet contest, those things never work. I told them to each look out their window, and call out whenever they saw a pink flamingo. A brief discussion followed to iron out the rules - such as would plastic flamingos count, or did it have to be the real thing. And Elchanan wanted to clarify it was only pink flamingos, and not any pink item.

Unfortunately it only lasted for ten minutes, but it was a gloriously silent ten minutes. And of course during that time, I knew Zach and I couldn't look at one another, because we'd burst out laughing.

And just to be clear, other than in a zoo, there are no pink flamingos in Israel.

Ship off the coast of Ashkelon.

So, what kind of snipe hunt have you subjected your children to, in order to keep the peace and quiet of a drive home?

Family Affair

My sister-in-law, we'll call her Molly, is here in Israel for an intensive 2 week seminar. Her days (and many evenings) are packed with lectures and meetings, and unfortunately it doesn't leave a lot of time for non-seminar touring and certainly doesn't leave a lot of time to visit family.

The last time we saw Molly in person was the summer of 2012, when Zach, the boys, and I flew to the States for a family visit. Nati was 5, Elchanan was 3. Neither were toilet trained... oh, that was fun. So the last time Molly saw my boys, they were barely out of toddlerhood. And it had been even longer since Molly saw my daughters, and she'd never met my son-in-law or my grandsons.

Needless to say, I wanted to arrange a family get together, despite Molly's tight schedule.

My original idea was everyone come to Jerusalem, where Molly was based, and we'd go to a restaurant. But then I started picturing the get together.

First of all, it would mean that my daughter and her family would have to travel by bus, minimum of 90 minutes, just to get to Jerusalem, and then depending on where the restaurant was, would have to get there as well.

Five minutes after arriving, Nati would start complaining that he wants to go home.

Ten minutes after that, Elchanan would start complaining that he's bored. And when he gets bored, he starts picking on... well, everyone.

We'd have to make sure that my grandsons (ages 6 and 3) would sit at the table for the meal, and the schmoozing.

Yeah, none of that seemed appealing.

But then I realized that this get together wasn't going to be about the food, it was about the family. The people, gathering together for the company and the conversation, reconnecting.

So then I suggested having a BBQ at my daughter's house. We'd pick up Molly in Jerusalem and then drive further north to where my daughter lives. By car, it's about 45 minutes. I made cole slaw, potato salad, a batch of chocolate chip cookies, brought burger and hot dog buns, and bag of chicken wings marinading in a home made sauce. I told my daughter to buy the burgers and hot dogs, and I'd reimburse her. The reason behind that was so those items would be cooked and ready (especially for the kids) when we got there. See, sometimes I have a good idea.

And it was amazing. The kids all got to eat and run, play as they wished, where they wished. The grown ups got to have pleasant conversation. And as a bonus, Molly got to see a part of the country that she'd otherwise not have had an opportunity to visit. And we took a 5 minute pause to do some amazing star gazing in mostly dark skies.

What kind of family get together have you been to that ended up being fantastic and amazing, despite being nothing like what you first planned it to be?

Recipe to save

Mexican Burghul Salad



2 1/2 cups burghul grains (I like the larger grain best)
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
4 finely chopped spring onion OR 1/2 red onion
1 large red pepper, finely diced
1 large yellow or orange pepper, finely diced
1/2 cup finely chopped parsley

DRESSING (see Cook's Notes for substitutions)
1 teaspoon crushed garlic
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon silan/honey
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground coriander spice
Salt and coarse pepper to taste
1/2 cup olive oil

1: Pour salted water over burghul grains - cover well with approximately 2 cm extra margin - and set aside to absorb for approximately 1 1/2 hours.
2: Whisk dressing ingredients together till well mixed and check seasoning.
3: Check water is fully absorbed - press out extra in a sieve if absolutely necessary but you shouldn't have to unless you added too much - and then add vegetables, beans and herbs to grains.
4: Toss through dressing to coat well and refrigerate till ready to serve.

COOK'S NOTES: Quinoa could replace burghul if you prefer but this will have to be cooked and can't just be soaked. I cook quinoa in the microwave for ease. If you insist, you could simplify the dressing even further, by simply adding cumin, ground coriander and silan to 2/3 cup ready-made French dressing. Apple cider vinegar or white wine vinegar can replace red wine vinegar.  Salad feeds approximately 8 and leftovers last for days.

Food, Glorious Food

Every year, one of the local North American organizations has a Canada Day/US Independence Day picnic and fair at the beginning of July. This year, for religious reasons, it's going to be an "end of summer" fair instead.

Last year, I rented a table and sold a variety of cookies, muffins, and cakes. Chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal craisin cookies, peanut butter cookies, banana walnut chocolate chip muffins, mint fudge brownies, and cinnamon fudge brownies. It was a big success for me.

The chocolate chip cookies and the mint brownies were sold out. No one really bought the cinnamon brownies. I was left with quite a bit of the oatmeal craisin, and the banana muffins. And the peanut butter cookies just didn't hold up. They were very crumbly.

Since I'm a list maker, I made sure to create a spreadsheet and make notes regarding the baked goods.

For this year, I'll be selling chocolate chip cookies and mint fudge brownies. I'll make a smaller batch of banana muffins, and also make blueberry muffins. I'll also be making a small batch of "brookies", which is where you drop a lump of chocolate chip cookie dough into brownies batter, and bake together. I'll be selling potato kugels and garlic monkey bread as well, and since it's going to be only a week and half until Rosh Hashana, I was thinking of also making small apple cakes.

Brookies

Garlic monkey bread

Do you have any local fairs you attend and/or sell at?